


All happy families are alike

by epistemology



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Character Study, Don't Post To Another Site, Epistolary, Gen, Not Beta Read, life advice from Alfred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24119122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epistemology/pseuds/epistemology
Summary: To my grandson, whom I miss,I am writing because I have heard what happened. I have heard, and I am sorry.Alfred writes a letter to Jason following the events of Under the Red Hood.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 16
Kudos: 116





	All happy families are alike

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the first line of _Anna Karenina_. The whole sentence is "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

To my grandson, whom I miss,

I am writing because I have heard what happened. I have heard, and I am sorry.

I am sorry for not keeping you safe whilst you were under my care. I am sorry for the horrors that you have experienced, too many and too great for someone so young. I am sorry for the manner in which you were welcomed back. Master Bruce was certainly not at his most level-headed. I suspect you are not either. I am sorry for that as well.

I would ask that you come home, but I know it will prove futile. Instead I ask simply that you not avoid me forever. I would like to see you again. The time spent mourning you is not a time I would like to revisit. Spare me the grief, and come see me now, for I do not wish to have to mourn you again. 

I know you will not believe me when I say it, but he does love you. He loves you a great deal, and as a result he makes choices that hurt you, because he does not love you _well_. There is a great deal of difference between the two, loving and loving well. He is quite good at the former, but the latter has always found him lacking.

He wants to love you, to have a relationship with you, but he does not know how to be vulnerable, you understand, something required in order to truly love someone. He expects those around him to allow themselves to be open but does not extend the same courtesy to himself. He will always be there for those who need him, but he does not know how to let himself need others.

Sometimes he thinks he knows what is best for everyone. He thinks he knows what is best for you. He does not.

I do not pretend to know either.

But wanting what is best for someone is another way of loving them. He wants what is best for you. He loves you, but he does not love you well.

I recognize that this might make it more difficult, to know that he does love you but still fails you. You will tell me that the fact that he is trying and yet still fails is worse than if he had not tried at all. But I suspect that is simply because you are afraid to be close to anyone, for the fear that they might let you down. And isn’t that a lonely way to live. People are always going to fail. It is what makes us human. Do not let failure keep you from opening yourself up to others. Do not let it drive you to a life that could otherwise have been spent with people you love.

He does not know how to love you, but if you let him try, perhaps he could learn. Perhaps you could learn as well.

He may not know what is best for you, but my dear boy, I do not think you know either. You think you do, but you do not, and that is not a way to continue living.

I have many regrets, but allowing you to slip away will not be one of them. It is up to you. It is your choice; I will not press.

You are always welcome here, no matter what you have done, for I have already forgiven you. It would take a great deal for me not to when I love you as I do. Forgiveness and love are rather closely related, I believe. Can you have one without the other?

And so, I humbly request that you come home. I said I would not, but I’m afraid that I am an old man and cannot refrain from asking. Perhaps you could stop by for tea sometime. We could discuss literature over scones. I would even be happy to loan you a book to read, if you would like. All of your favorites are still here, waiting to be read by someone other than myself. I do recall _Anna Karenina_ being next on your reading list. If you have not yet read it, could I possibly tempt you with my copy? It is well worn, but there is many a note in the margin concerning Tolstoy’s views on society, morality, and family. I suspect you would find them quite engrossing. The story is, of course, much more compelling, but I would appreciate even this small form of communication. The ways in which a man annotates his books are quite telling. If I may be so bold as to inquire, would I perhaps be able to borrow one of your books as well?

I know we cannot return to the days before, and I know that you have changed. Please allow me to get to know the man you are now. I do not believe that he is lost to us forever.

I love you very dearly, Master Jason, and I hope with all my heart that I have loved you well.

Your grandfather,

“Alfie”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://epistemologys.tumblr.com/)


End file.
